Big Board of College Stories: The Legendary Visit

So the day starts out and I’m pumped because James “The Legendary James” McAndrew is coming to visit me at my College. The clock strikes 4 and my mafia connection calls me to pick up a package. So me and two of my friends walk down to pick it up. Halfway there, Jamie calls turns out the brave kid walked through the ghetto of Providence and was now on campus. I hustled my ass over to find him so we can be reunited for some fun before more fun. We start the night by grabbing a bite to eat and then start drinking while playing NCAA. Once we finished that we drunk drove in honor of alcohol awareness week. Turns out Jamie’s terrible at it. Anyway we had pretty nice buzz going so we head over to the 70s party. While we’re walking there this black kid from liberia joins our group. He is the weirdest guy ever. My first reaction, this guy is on poor man’s crack which makes you become legally retarded. Liberia’s so excited the whole time I see him. So the party goes on and all of a sudden liberia slips a roofie in a girl’s drink and gets caught. Liberia panics and throws a punch. He hardly connects and tries to get away by running up the stairs. Four guys haul him down and kick the shit outta him. We just go back to drinking and eventually get kicked outta the after party. Then Me, Jamie, “Chicago”, and “Noli” start looking for another party and stumble across these 40 year old mexicans with 3 24s of Heinken. We start talking spanish to them and get some cervesas. After that we start walking to get pizza and this kid in my marketing class calls me over and gives us 4 free cups to his friends party. Now I’ve been to weird parties before but this party is weird as fuck. There’s Mexicans, Mom loving punk rockers, and hippies all in the same house. We felt outta place but there was beer so we just kept drinking. After we get the goods we head to the kitchen to chill. All of a sudden we lost it and start eating all their food. We ate a box of Ritz crackers, bannanas, and chocolate chips. Eventually we steal their beer. Then “Noli” eats a glass bottle and spits out the shards. After that “Chicago” chucks the bottle off the wall but it doesn’t break. Noli then trys to steal the wine as the hippie guy comes in. The conversation went something like this”

Hippie: What are you doing?

Noli: You want some wine?

Hippie: It’s mine.

Noli: I know I’m giving it to you to have some.

Hippie: I don’t like people touching my stuff.

After he leaves we open the next box of crackers and chips and drop them on the floor. As were about to leave we take whatever they have left. Jamie ends up stealing a can of pineapple chunks for my room. So we go get pizza and we see the kid from liberia trying to mooch pizza off these kids. All of a sudden 2 kids yell where the fucks my laptop and liberia sprints down the street. We’ve had enough so we head back to my dorm. Ofcourse the nights not over because outside my hall there’s a fight with northeastern kids. Jamie being smart is on ourside. In the scuffle Jamie meets his good friend “Big Country”’s friend from back home, “Popeye” who’s from Wilbraham. Then the night ended.

Recap of my weekend:

$121.67 dollars spent

$600 I have for the semester

1 number of glass bottles eaten

3 number of Mexican’s with cases of Heiken

7 number of Mom and beer toasts

0 number of drunk driving wins, second place or third place finishes for Jamie

2 number of times Jamie walked through the ghetto

9,213,421 number of rain drops that hit me in one walk to the bar

College Story: Nichols Edition

As told by Samuel L. Zwirko:
“Me and my buddy Tom were just chillin in his room and we get a call from his roommate to come up to the qb’s room. So we fill a backpack up with beer, and we head up there. Just as we were about to knock on his door, all of a sudden, Devan, my buddy, that was in there called tom and told us to go back down cuz the ra’s were in there. Then we saw public safety come up as we left the building 3 cop cars rolled up and we were like fuckkkk. Devan comes back, and he told us that the ra’s smelt weed and called the cops. The cops searched the room found mad weed and mad beers. They looked on the qb’s desk and saw a some shit lined up to be snorted. They did a field test on it and it came up positive for cocaine but it really wasn’t coke it was perkasets… So that night the qb got kicked off the team and expelled from school and my 2 other buddies got kicked off the team.”

Mexican Word of the Week: Herpes

Me and Sam split a pizza. I took my piece and she took HERPES

Pat’s Platinum Song of the Week

Green Light by John Legend featuring Andre 3000

D-Hood’s Good Call Bad Call

Good Call: Pool Workouts
Bad Call: Phillies in the World Series

Big Board of Trips to the Island

Jamie McAndrew and this this and this. You really don’t need any explanation because he just got outta control happy.

Big Board of Predictions: World Series Edition

Well my Sox are out and I’m a little disappointed but they played hard and just didn’t have it. Moving onto the World Series we have the Rays vs. the Phils. The Phillies have played well all year and have 3 potential MVP award winners on the team. The big question is wheter the pitching staff which includes 68 year old fireballer Jamie Moyer, can keep sluggers BJ Upton and Evan Longoria off the scoreboards. Personally I think that band box of a park that the Phillies play in CANNOT hold the bats of the Mighty Rays. Rays in 5.

Pat’s Platinum Song of the Week

Watch How it Go Down by Termanology

D-Hood’s Good Call Bad Call

Good Call- Midnight Madness

Bad Call- 8 a.m. classes

Big Board of Beer: Octoberfest

Samuel Adam’s Octoberfest was a huge disappointment in my eyes. It had a crisp taste but it just didn’t deliver in the drinkability category. I could taste the October but I just didn’t like it. It grabs a C in my eyes.