Big Board of Thoughts: Sock Monster

The Sock Monster is a creature that dwells by washing machines everywhere. He has never been seen but always leaves atleast 3 unmatched pairs. He never eats the same kind of sock twice leaving the person with unmatched socks leading to a fashion crime. My question is why is there a sock monster? I would much rather have an Undershirt Monster. I would atleast be able to count how many undershirts I had stolen from me. Actually the Sock Monster has stolen enough socks from me that i can count them now. There is no way to stop him. He’s like the Jamal Crawford of chores. He’s good at one thing: Crime. He steals real well but no one wants to be beaten senseless by the lack of sock attire. I hate the sock monster.

Mexican Word of the Week: Sodas

SK: “Damn that girl is has a nice ass”
Sam Bam: “SODAS her sister!”

Big Board of College Stories: Cont. from Valentines

I left out a lot that happened in 201 so I’ll start from early Saturday

Stormin’ Normin’s parents came to see the game so they brought him food and sodas and stuff. So when his mom went to put it in the refrigerator. When a mother goes into the refrigerator in a college dorm room, nothing good happens. 201 expected for her to see the untouched 30 hanging out but not the random bowl in there. So his mom wasn’t too happy but didn’t care too much. No one knows how or why the bowl was in the fridge and no one knows who’s it was. It disappeared the next day.

Later that night: The Golden One brought a girl back to the room and they had a lot of fun. Unfortunately he busted all over Stormin’ Normins desk and left a condom on a chair. Stormin may or may not have gotten him back later that night when he passed out in his chair and possibly threw up and the ground next to The Golden One’s bed. Some may have gotten on the bed. Stormin doesn’t recall throwing up but Tailor Made says he thought he was. No one knows.

Mexican Word of the Week: Meter

SK got cornrows and Sam asked, “Who did you doo ‘cus I would like to METER.”

Big Board of College Stories: Things I left out

Friday Night: Stormin’ Normin and others dance back to the party using a shower radio as their boom box. A cop tells the “Dancing Queens” to knock it off

Big Board of College Stories: Valentine’s Weekend

“…just live it up my dude.. we-re only young and stupid once.. use your intoxication as an excuse to do crazy things man”

Thursday: I go to bed early because I have a test Friday morning. Taylor Swift wakes me up between 2 and 3. The weekend has started.

Friday: I’m tired from studying and going to class so I skip my last 2 classes and head to 201. Stormin’ Normin challenges me to some NBA 2k9 before the celebration starts. We played too long so I missed my nap. This really did not make me happy but I had to get my phone fixed so I went to the mall with Tailor Made. We decided to take the bus even though my roommate has a car and had to do errands. Apparently the bus was running a little bit behind because it came an hour late. It was very cold and neither of us was real happy. So after we finished we realized we could catch the bus, so we start sprinting down the stairs. The bus starts to pull away and we’re just like damn I think we can still catch it. So we start weaving in and out of 4 lanes of traffic and sprint across this huge field. Tailor Made loses his shoe in the mud as were about to catch the bus. The bus has no sympathy and pulls away. We missed another bus. Once we finally catch a bus and get brought back to campus we have to sprint to the cafeteria so we make dinner. Not soon after we hit up the bar and just drank a real lot. Around 11 I knew I was in trouble and texted a bunch of people. One buddy said the quote at the top and I took it to heart. On the way home I slid down a 50 foot rail about 64 feet up. Looking back I don’t know how I did it and it scares the buhjeebers outta me. Once I got back I see the EMTs talking to people. Apparently an unregistered guest was throwing up blood after he did coke. Pretty nuts. Then I went to sleep at like 4.

Saturday: I woke up at 10 am still drunk. I decided to go to breakfast. Turns out it was Family Day or something so there were tours going on all day. Me and Andrew “The Mummy” Dalbect decide on the Italian Stallion’s cousins advice that it would be a good idea to go on one of the tours. We really did absolutely nothing positive for the tour except let them know that A) we were still hammered B) Keg stands happen a lot and C) there are 345006 books in the library. So I take it easy and go to the basketball game which was one awful display of the game. Then we started drinking. It turned out to be a terrible time. I was just so bored outta my mind that I left my go to bar to head to another one. So me and Chicago start walking straight for like 20 minutes. Then I see the highway and realize I am in the worst part of Providence. I immediately turn around and sprint in the direction I came from. Once I get back to an area I know I realize I know exactly how to get to the bar we were trying to go. Not wanting to waste anytime I sprint there and get a pitcher. I stayed there for 2 Taylor Swift songs and kill the pitcher. We leave with a few kids in the ROTC and go to this house party. The shuttle dropped us off fairly far away so we run to the house yelling army cadences. None of them make sense. The party is out of control. One girl was pretty much an exotic dancer. She gave everyone in the room lap dances and such. Then I decided to play some Beirut with this girl I didn’t know. I was utterly terrible so I thought shooting left handed eyes closed would help. It definitely did because we won 5 games. The beauties of alcohol. After that I threw Stormin’ Normin’s boo in a headlock. Don’t remember that but I guess it happened. So at 4 I decide to leave and I grab the American Flag off the house and start waving it wildly belting out God Bless America.

Sunday: Went to the bar, became a bouncer for 2 minutes, went home. Keno Davis’ head was stolen. Huge Disappointment

Mexican Word of the Week:Chopping

One day Sam was talking to SK when SK said, “Ayo Sam wanna ball later?” and Sam said, “Nah meng, I got to go to the mall cus I got some CHOPPING to do.”

Big Board of Thoughts: No Cell Phone

Having no cell phone sucks. I rely on my cell phone for an alarm clock, phone, phone book and watch. Without any of those, I’m lost in the dark. I hope the day never comes when cell phones become obsolete. I miss my phone

Big Board of Trips to the Island February 2nd

Note all persons are Under the by 1 or more substances

Person 1: Watched a guy fall on ice, guy happens to have a Samurai Sword, Person 1 licks Samurai Sword, makes 4 Easy Macs, passes out next to his bed and sleeps on the floor.

Person 2: Sleeps in Person 1s bed, thinks aliens are attacking him, gets his right hand and right leg tied to bed with a shoelace

Person 3: Passes out while eating soup, Soup spills all over him, thinks his dog is writing on him, sleeps with Person 2 in Person 1’s bed after he slept on the floor for a short while

Person 4: Does laps around the dorm because he hears sirens, thinks hes in the Matrix and tries to run up walls, tries to sleep in the top bunk in Person 1’s room but falls off the chair injuring himself, donates all his snacks to Person 1s room.

Person 5: Gets to see Samurai Guy fall and then plays with the sword

Person 6: Buys me and a friend a beer, urinates on the fence by the hockey rink where a cop zooms past, slams on brakes and yells at him, isn’t found as of February 3rd 3 PM

Person 6:

Big Board of Thoughts: Super Bowl

The excitement in the Super Bowl definitely surprised me. I was not expecting the Cards to have any fight in them after getting absolutely dominated in the first quarter. So we’ll go to things I liked:

• The comebacks by both the Steelers and the Cardinals. I was very impressed that both teams had fight in them and two exceptional wideouts, Fitzgerald and Holmes, came to play.
• Santanio Holmes’ catch after he dropped a much easier pass the play before. What a way to win the game and redeem himself.
• A couple of commercials most notably the Coke Peter and the Wolf one and the Miller High Life one
• the touchdown porno
• Gambling
• Bruce

Things I didn’t like

• 80% of the commercials
• Larry Fitzgerald Sr…. Show some emotion